The mind of a right brained person is like a climate shift of cosmic proportions. What a metaphor! Sometimes I do write none-sense just for the sake of it. The right brain. The beautiful right brain. That part of the brain where visions, dreams and colors come to life. Art is formed. Reality is becoming relative. And that is absolute.
What did I just say?
I don’t know but I am in love with my right brain because my left brain betrayed me years ago (and to talk about that requires major analysis, another weakness of my left brain). And maybe the desire to actually make a blog or a site came from the supernova that popped inside my brain. And recently, this burst of creativity left me sleepless for days. Art was suddenly infused in my bloodstreams, just like the abundance of acid which is slowly destroying my innermost organs. Am i going to make Youtube videos? Am I going to write poetry? Am I going to take professionally-looking pictures and flaunt them everywhere? I don’t really know what to do, but I want to do them all with equal amounts of focus without losing my minimalist principles (how ambitious)! I don’t want to be a ‘jack of all trades,master of none.” I want to be a Renaissance man, if that is even possible. This is my short term vision.
It’s already 10:30pm–my planned sleeping time for tonight and probably my earliest for this month. Then wake me up if I can’t wake on my own. Art is suffocating. Art is a ‘beautiful nightmare.’
This is my living faith, an active faith, a faith of verbs: to question, explore, experiment, experience, walk, run, dance, play, eat, love, learn, dare, taste, touch, smell, listen, speak, write, read, draw, provoke, emote, scream, sin, repent, cry, kneel, pray, bow, rise, stand, look, laugh, cajole, create, confront, confound, walk back, walk forward, circle, hide, and seek. – Terry Tempest William
I have received various responses since the day I started to share this story. I often scare the hell out of the people with a conservative mind. The liberal mind will always be amazed. Christians say it’s evil. I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, but I find this story worth telling.
This is a so called testimony since I started my Inner Dance journey. I don’t know exactly what Inner Dance means in a deeper context, but I have experienced it. It’s not that complicated to experience but it’s a difficult thing to express.
It started one night when Pi Villaraza stayed in our house. He’s not the typical couchsurfer who will stay in our house and sleep, talk all night, tour the city and take pictures. He did all the talking this time; he is full of wisdom that even my parents sat with me while listening to his stories.
Prior to my hosting day, I have searched his name via Google. We all Google our names right? I was amazed that I’m actually going to host a highly respected man. He is one of those people who left their extravagant life over a simple hermit life. He’s probably the person I’ve been waiting for to answer my mind and heart’s deepest questions.
Going back, he started sharing to us his raw food diet. He gathered members of our family and started doing a workshop about green smoothie. I hosted him last April 7 and today is May 15. It’s been almost a month since green smoothie became part of the family’s diet. The magic behind the green smoothie is also brilliant. My cravings for junk food, sodas and other acidic drinks were lessened if not completely eradicated. If you want to learn more about the smoothie, check out Daniw’s video on youtube. Daniw is Pi’s wife.
After dinner, Pi and I went upstairs in my room to rest. He’s been tired from God knows how many miles of biking (from Sagada to Pampanga). But my soul wants to experience the Inner Dance that the internet is talking about. I should experience it before he leaves next day. But Pi probably sensed that. He already sensed that I want to experience it so badly.
He then took his iPhone out of his pocket.
“Do you have speakers?”, he asked.
“Yes, I do.” I answered.
Pi played a very relaxing song.
“Now lie on your bed and be comfortable as much as possible”, he instructed. I followed. During that time, I’m a bit afraid. I am afraid that he will not succeed. I am afraid that I won’t be able to experience what I am dying to experience. The usual “What ifs” dominated my mind.
“Now close your eyes.”
Pi started talking. Old wisdom which I have ignored for years. Ancient wisdom which I found relevant. Science. Spirituality. Universe. Multiverse. Energy. Force. God.
I listened. But as much as I want to listen, I also want to ask. But this time I can’t. I just need to listen. My mind is now thinking a lot of things all at the same time.
“Wow, I never thought of that”
“I am bored”
“The wisdom is ok. But why am I not dancing?”
“Oh man. I have to go to work tomorrow”
“This is the coolest couchsurfer ever”
“I’m cold. I need to turn the AC off”
“I need to pee. Like right now”
Wisdom. Stuffs. Fears. Worries. Physical stuffs. But this time, I need to focus on the wisdom part. Or probably not think at all. I don’t know.
Pi then touched my head using his finger. Then he touched my rib cage. Then he touched the joint of my right hand.
Then next thing I heard is the word: SURRENDER.
Surrender is a common term to be associated with faith and spirituality. I have heard it a lot because I have been attending various Christian churches since God knows when. I have heard it with a friend who believes in mysticism. I have heard it with a friend who practices interfaith belief. In short, surrender is not Christian. Surrender is universal.
Amidst the noise my mind is making, be it good noise (wisdom) or bad noise (worries), I have made a decision to surrender that night.
Out of the blue, I started to raise my hands. My fingers also moved in a very weird way. Then the next thing I know is that they are making circular flows and movement.
“Oh gosh. This is freaky.”
Yes, I am awake. I can think clearly. But my body is moving. It’s not an ordinary movement. Then I suddenly laughed because I am shaking my hips while kicking using my feet.
“This is embarassing. Pi, don’t you dare take a video of me”, I said to myself.
I am not possessed. Because if I am, I cannot think clearly. That became a relief. From fear, I started to embrace the fact that I am actually doing a beautiful thing and not to mention, spiritual. I felt its a merge between science and spirituality. My mind became clearer. The dance became complicated, until the music started to fade. As the music stopped, the dance also stopped.
“Slowly open your eyes”, Pi instructed.
“………………………………..”, I answered. I was speechless. I have nothing to say but to have the best sighs of my life.
He smiled at me.
“Pi, I really need to pee.”
God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down. – CS LEWIS
The inner dance is probably one of the many meditation modes in our world today alongside with tai-chi and yoga. But for me, it’s one of the best and sustainable. Right after the session we had, I felt peace. I am smiling for no reason at all. I felt that my heart became empty except for God who is residing inside me. My mind was also emptied but ready to learn more.My heart is ready for forgiveness. My heart desired for change, for a clean slate. Tabula rasa.
On the other hand, probably it’s just science. It’s just energy. It’s just magnetism. It’s just force. But whatever it is, I still find it awesome that this experience is already here with me all this time. For 23 years, I am this guy who is full of energy, full of force, but never realized it. If this experience boggled me, probably I still have something GREAT and AWESOME inside me that wasn’t discovered yet. At the end of the day, Science is just a proof of our faith. If I was able to do this, then I am, without a shadow of a doubt, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Thanks to Pujia, my Indonesian friend for allowing me to post this very inspiring photo.
Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. – 2 Peter 1:4
I am doing the inner dance almost everyday. It became part of a routine. It just surprises me that every day, it’s a different movement. The complex dance moves are outstanding, coming from a frustrated dancer like myself. I have seen surreal colors while my eyes are closed. I have been having vivid dreams. I have been conscious about almost everything. I see people as divine beings capable of great things. I see that the material world is becoming irrelevant everyday. Ordinary things suddenly amazed me. No prejudices. Everything became clearer.
But for me, it’s not about the dance and the surreal experience at all. But it’s about my union with God through this dance. This is my form of worship. This is how I adore my God.
While I was on the plane traveling from Cebu City to Clark, I suddenly had this weird thought: “What if the plane will crash on an island and I will be with strangers from this plane?”
Call me weird or abnormal, but it was actually a good thought (at least for me). Sadly, it is hard for us to actually communicate and get along with strangers. How long can you survive being with strangers on an island? Aside from the fact that you have to hoard for food or hunt for wild boars, you also need to be with high-maintenance people from different cultures.
Going back on the plane, I suddenly recalled a famous series called Lost. It was actually my Dad’s addiction so I didn’t even bothered to watch it with him years and years ago. So finally, because of that realization I had on the plane, I gave the series a chance. I am, after all, a late bloomer.
That was a month ago.
Today, I am hooked. I spent countless weekend hours trying to finish the entire series. And now, what was left is only 10 episodes before the finale. Imagine that! I don’t even want to finish it yet because “I don’t want to leave the island” and “the island is the only thing I have.”
What is it all about?
The series started last 2004 (when I was in junior high) and ended last 2010 (when I resigned from my 2nd work). It’s a story about a group of people whose plane crashed on a magnetic-timeshifting-weird-haunted-holy-evil-paradoxic-ironic island. The characters had their own flashback stories which affects their present decisions; flashforwards to track whether their decision is the right one; and flash sideways (my favorite) to include probable theories and new stories if the plane landed safely on the airport.
Why I got addicted (or why I like the show sooo much)?
1. It’s a mystery show and I firmly believe that everybody love mysteries.
2. It’s actually about people; they are ordinary people with extraordinary stories. You will actually learn that every person has a story to tell and sadly, a dark secret to keep–which is the story of us all.
3. Although the characters came from different backgrounds, they were able to work together to survive. Yes, they had frequent quarrels and mini-wars, but at the end of the day, they are still one. They often hurt each other in order to protect each other. Ironic, but beautiful.
4. It teaches the viewers that everything happens for a reason.
5. It is about science, faith, travel and TIME TRAVEL.
So if you are a late bloomer like me, you have all the time to watch this series. Give yourself a month to finish 6 seasons. Trust me, it’s worth it!
A blog about strange things, strangers and the strange but extraordinary world…
Not Your Average Stranger 